For The Family

Grief, Our Thoughts…

A Journey Of The Heart

By - Estate Settlement .com

                             estate settlement grief                            


Many of us try to apply logic and calculations to virtually every circumstance that we face in life.  As if there is some “score” that if achieved will result in our circumstance being acceptable or unacceptable.    When dealing with an impending death we might have kept this odd accounting as well.

If our precious loved one had a full and complete life both in years and in quality we may reconcile that our grief should be less painful.   We may have added into this equation that they suffered from pain and sickness and that upon death they will be relieved of the burden of a failing body.   Accumulating favorable facts we think will lessen our pain.

Others may feel as though they got “less than a fair deal” as the length in time and a list of “circumstances” has planted a secret seed of regret and missed opportunities.   If focused upon, a person whole life can be characterized or painted   with dark thoughts, bitterness and guilt.  While the color of paint may be different in both characterizations, it is still paint shrouding what lies underneath.   Beneath the paint is one of life’s greatest truths and hidden treasures.

When death occurs we realize the accounting method was just our weird way of occupying our “logical minds”. And the paint job was a way of avoiding the unknown regions of our emotions that we were apprehensive to explore.   All of this is understandable as we have never been in these uncharted waters before.

With death, all the paint gets removed.   We also lose a bit of our own identity as if it is the first installment payment to be made for living at a new address in our lives.   In this new environment, our logic withers away and our once repressed emotional soul grows at a geometric rate, if we let it.   In this oxygen rich environment for our soul; music, art and poetry make more sense to than we ever believed possible.  

You may see other peoples suffering for the first time.   Our hearts are awakened from a deep sleep, from what we feared most.   We are now more “alive” than at any other time in our lives.   Only a healthy and loving heart can feel so much pain.   If we take our tender hearts down this path, we are searching less and discovering more.

As our journey continues we avoid asking complex questions, which once paralyzed us.   Instead we gather the simple truth of love, respect, and understanding like a child picks up precious shells on the beach to be treasured.   Shells need not be perfect to be appreciated.

Painful memories and unpleasant flashbacks still exist, but they do not carry the same sting, nor does it’s debilitating venom last as long as it once did.

Then one day it dawns on us, that the pieces of the puzzle we so desperately tried to force together have some how put themselves in some sort of order, when we weren't even looking.   We were using the wrong tool for the job. We were using the wrong part of our anatomy instead of our minds; we should aimed a little lower…our hearts.

Regardless of our age we are still at our beginnings, but this time it’s for real.   The place that we initially dreaded going, is the only place that our love and loss can find order and the semblance of peace.    For this we should be thankful for… for true love cannot be painted over.  

True love is immortal… we know this as fact… because it resides in us. For love and life has not been lost … but has been found.   It is our dearly departed message back to us, that they will always be with us and we will never be alone.  

Let us all rest in this peace.



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